• The Things You Do

    The History of Your Name

    Dear Xander, I Not Monkey Tay! Just before you turned 3, your parents had a tendency to compare your disobedient, uncooperative self to the behaviour of a monkey. Your mother, in particular, would ask you if your name was Monkey Tay (among other personality disorders evidenced in the audio recording above) instead of Xander Tay whenever you misbehaved, to which your response would always be an angry “NO, I AM NOT MONKEY. I AM XANDER!” (I should, at this point, extend my apologies to our primate cousins for such a discriminatory remark, in case one day scientific progress allows the events documented in the various Planet of the Apes to…

  • The Things You Do

    Happy Birthday, Son!

    You should at some point realise the significance of your birthdate. Of course, not only is it Boxing Day, it is also the day after Christmas, and also falls within the December holidays. This is all good... on the surface. Because as you grow older each year, you may come to realise the drastic drawbacks this birthdate will have on your wanting to celebrate it.